The palm that I wove today symbolized transformation, survival, celebration, humility and victory. I had left my mother's beloved earthly vessel resting atop my father's in a grave site in Staten Island, New York. But I understood, as I understood the message of Palm Sunday, that triumph craddles tragedy and vice versa.
I had been a channel to aid my mother's transition even though I wept with Cairn in a village church in Dublin. My small family's transformative journey began four years ago on Palm Sunday as we sang hymns and danced on the eve of my step father's entering a nursing home. Our lives were about to change in ways that we could not imagine. But we understood that hope, strength and faith would lighten our paths on those dark days when the sun could not penetrate the darkness or illumine the new terrian that we, like everyone else, were forced to travel.
My step dad, Bob's voice, rang the loudest, even though his life was about to irrevocably change. We locked hands in loving devotion and committed to facing the future with courage and integrity, as Cairn and I were committed to facing StormRider now.
The palms that were strewn before Christ as he entered Jerusalem on an ass, represented the revolution and renaissance that people had hoped he would usher in. But it was a different revolution that he fought. And I realized that my family and I had also fought a different battle. One where winning was dubious for the outcome was certain death. We fought for our love even as we knew that the earthly trappings and underpinnings were about to fall away. So we praised what had been and we prayed for the understanding to hold that love in the center of our hearts even though our days together were rapidly expiring.
Perhaps I would give a fortune had I had one to return to that day four years ago - to once again clasp the hands of those that I love. But I know that it was a battle well fought and that metaphorically we are clasping hands still.
Will I have the courage to face a deadly outcome with Cairn? Could I say good-bye if StormRider has the magic and the power to destroy him? But I won't entertain that for I know that we have a powerful weapon in love. Storm will try to destroy us through fear. But I have learned how to diminish that particular demon. And we will face him together.