Saturday, February 19, 2011

Full Moon Madness and Dreams of Home

My mother was conscious. I knew it.  I could feel her consciousness intertwining with my mind and mingling with my dreams.  I wasn't going to make the same mistake.  I wouldn't wait for tomorrow.  I kissed Cairn's arm and slipped from beneath its muscular weight.  I was going to see my mom.  I was, however briefly, going home.  Cairn seemed to shift as though awakening but then he fell more deeply asleep, or so I thought.

I dressed quickly and took my keys from the gentle green and gold embossed bowl that I'd bought in an antiques store in Bath, ages ago it seemed.  As I turned to open my front door, Cairn stood before me in his naked brilliance.  His eyes glinted like green diamonds in the darkened hallway.

"I would have come with you." Cairn's brow was creased and the dimple on the right side of his full mouth made me weaken.
"I have to see her.  She's awake."
"I know." He said.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I did," he said.
"Oh," I was embarrassed.  "Thanks for that."
"I don't want you going alone, Not in your state."
"I'll be fine." I managed.

He saw the trails that unruly tears had worn on my cheeks.

"Yes, thank you.  I want you to be with me." I amended

He was already dressed.

"You can drive," he conceded, "but I'd prefer to.  Up to you."

I already knew that look in his eyes.  He'd suffer my driving but we'd both have a better trip if he drove.  Well, I preferred to have him drive.  I was in a state.

"If it's okay with you."
"I offered," he said and then his mouth was on mine.  I gathered comfort from his solid body and I knew that I'd have time for the conversation with my mom that I'd waited my life to have.
The one that acknowledged me.  The one where I forgave her and myself.  And Cairn was making it possible....

It was he who had awakened her so that we could have this time.


  1. Anonymous10:12 PM PST

    Very moving. I know what it's like to lose someone. Wish I had Cairn with me then.

  2. Anonymous10:13 PM PST

    He's trying to take her power away by wanting to drive. Hello.

  3. Anonymous10:14 PM PST

    We can own our strength while letting people help us. Sometimes that is our strength - letting someone in to help.

  4. Anonymous10:20 PM PST

    R u serious? I'd let him drive anything. Send him my way.

  5. Anonymous12:52 AM PST

    Great stories. I enjoy reading them when I can't sleep or anytime.