We laid on my pastel oriental carpet surrounded by dancing candle flames and burning sage. The sage was to dispel any negative energies that had accrued during our separation and to clear the path for our future. The candle light was well - for us. I'd remembered his wide, rower's chest well. His dark chest hair mapped a location for me - home. He looked into my eyes, mountain lake green on cinnamon, and told me that he'd missed me. They were the only words that we'd spoken in the first hour we'd spent together. Cairn was with me again. And instead of stars as our canopy, we stared at the moon that framed the Robert Kennedy Bridge like a giant, glowing star.
Cairn's kiss was deeper this time, if possible. I felt as though I were wrapped in his being with that kiss. Either a candle had fallen and set me on fire or I was in serious trouble. My reaction to his touch was electrifying. I was burning at about 1000 watts.
"It's better that we waited," his dark voice murmured in my right ear.
"Why, why live without this for more than a year?" I managed.
"You weren't ready then," he purred.
"But I am now?"
"It's time that you were." And then he fell silent, exploring my mouth with his.
I felt my breath in my throat then a moment when I couldn't breathe. I wanted to break away but I couldn't. When Cairn lifted his head, I was trying to casually regulate my breathing.
"There's much that you need to learn about me," he said.
I was too love dazed to pay attention and murmured something like plenty of time for that.
Then he sat up gracefully and with precision. His dark hair obscured one of his piercing green eyes.
"I can't risk harming you."
I wasn't feeling particularly in danger of anything except possibly exploding with happiness.
"What are you saying? We can discuss it later."
"No," he crouched easily behind me and cradled my head in his lap. "I have to trust myself first. I won't lose you again."
Okay I thought, so don't lose me. Frankly he couldn't pry me loose with the jaws of life. But something in his tone cautioned me not to joke. I held my tongue and waited for him to continue. I wish that I hadn't.